Powerless

What do I want anymore? Life? What life?
To go? Go where? To live? Live what?
I can imagine but I cannot decide.
I can think but do I have the power?
Can I change? Can things change?
Can I work? Am I working? Aren't I?
What do I do? Where do I go?
Am I trying too hard? Or not hard enough?
Does it come naturally? Does happiness come
when least expected? Like rain? Love? Pain?
Does it come last after a hard day's work?
Does it come when I finally stop looking?
What if I stop looking and I never find it?
It never comes?
What comes to those who seek?
What comes to those who wait?
What comes to those who wait and see?
I wait and see.
As I work I stare out and imagine more.
A different world, a different life, a different place. 
Never where I am, but always different.
Never present, always far away.

Friend

Her name is Marie-Jennifer. I am grateful to have this woman in my life- an extraordinary thinker, feeler, and sometimes unintentionally downright hilarious. There was one time we spent a couple of hours at a cafe watching a film on my laptop. Afterwards, (in a daze I suppose?) she got up to throw away her coffee/food wrappers and walked towards the back of a large armchair where an unsuspecting youth was reading a book. I watched her almost throw her trash on him before doing a double-take and remarking to me "oh shit.. I thought he was the garbage can". You can be sure that a raucous "HAHAHAHOOTHOOT' was my immediate reaction. I mean, imagine minding your own business, enjoying a lovely evening with a book at a cafe, when a rain of trash suddenly falls on you from behind. and to hear the person apologizing explain "I thought you were the garbage can". . . .